1. Life after childbirth will definitely change a lot.
There are words to comfort new parents. You only have to suffer for one year. Once you’ve raised them for three years, the child will start to become more independent, and parenting will get easier...These sayings all tell the same story. Of course, it is true that the early stages of child-rearing are the most difficult periods, and it is also true that children grow up, develop cognitive abilities, and have fun raising their own children. As you gain experience, you may feel that parenting becomes more comfortable.
However, there is no going back to the days without children. Parenting a one-year-old parenting is as difficult as parenting a 3-year-old due to the unique challenges of each age. Like it or not, we need to acknowledge the changes that have occurred to us and adjust our lives after that.
2. It may be a very difficult time to take care of yourself.
It is very difficult to take care of yourself when you have a young child. You may want to sleep a lot and eat well, but there are days when one meal is all you can manage. But if you keep procrastinating on learning how to take care of yourself while parenting, you'll keep moving away from having a healthy lifestyle forever. Take care of yourself, either consciously or obligatory. Include in your responsibilities not only raising your children but also protecting and caring for yourself and your health.
If possible, consider the ways in which you can make yourself more comfortable when doing something. Do you spend lots of extra time searching to save a few pounds when purchasing children's items? Maybe you could that time doing something you enjoy more in your busy schedule. Even if you give up a small discount, you can still buy things at a reasonable price. Be specific about what you must do, what you can ask someone other than yourself, and what you can do to make your body comfortable, even if it costs a little money.
You can reduce the burden of my work by doing less cleaning at the risk of the house getting a little messier, or by buying and eating pre-prepared (but healthy) food. No one can do everything well. No matter how much time you have to dedicate to being a parent, adequate rest is also essential.
Tip: Consciously make your rest a priority. Usually, things that put your mind at ease may tend to get pushed off your to-do list. If you consciously take a break for yourself, you may have more time to rest and feel more energised to do your other tasks.
3. Nothing is perfect from the start.
Think about the turning points in your life that you have gone through so far. When you went from elementary school to middle school, wasn't it hard? When you got married, was the newlywed life really enjoyable? When you became a member of society, wasn't it difficult to even make a phone call?
Every turning point requires an adaptation process, and in the process, we make mistakes. Please allow for an acclimatisation period during your parenting journey. Taking care of yourself while caring for a child may seem impossible. It seems unlikely that the fights and conflicts between the primary and secondary caregivers will ever end.
When you are a beginner, it seems that the work of an experienced parent is impossible. But eventually you will get used to it, just like we have done at many turning points in our lives. Don't forget that even if it's not right now, you'll do it someday, and don't miss the big picture. Today’s mistakes are just today’s mistakes, and nothing more.
4. Think of it as parenting your heart.
Raising a child also requires a lot of experience and practice. To put your mind at ease consistently and maintain a positive mindset requires a method, practice, and thought. Think of it as parenting your heart.
Even if you make up your mind to overcome the stress of parenting from today, such a promise can be stressful. If you have allotted a 30-minute break for yourself, it is also a good idea to practice thinking about yourself without thinking at all during this time.
If you keep remembering things to do while you’ve given yourself a break, write them down on a post-it note and put away the paper to look into it in 30 minutes. Take into account the fact that everything takes practice and time.
5. Observe the flow yearly, not daily.
Stress is said to be managed, not relieved. Parenting stress is not an enemy we can completely defeat. Even when there were no children, there must have been hard and sad days. Don't force yourself to be happy when parenting stress is bothering you too much. Like the flow of waves, good times and difficult times are repeated.
Was it too hard today? Next week might be a little better. But the next week could be bad again. Please accept the repetition of this flow naturally. Instead of thinking in terms of today and tomorrow, imagine yourself a year ago and now. Haven’t things become a lot more advanced? Next year, you can do the same, and see how far you’ve come.
Author: Lee Ji-hyun
- A Secondary School Level 2 Teacher Certificate
- As a real mother of a child, she ponders specific parenting tips between reality and theory. She has worked as an educational civic activist and freelance journalist.