The mother's body will take time to fully recover and trying to take care of a newborn baby is also very tiring. Today, we will introduce some realistic tips that might help you when raising a newborn baby.
1. Don't worry too much about the growth stage of your child.
When you are raising a child, you may find yourself comparing yourself to others without realising it. When you look at what other people’s children are doing, such as seeing a quick-talking child, you might worry about your slow-spoken child. If their timing of turning over or fixing their neck is delayed compared to other children, it may cause you anxiety.
Of course, you cannot realistically pretend to be ignorant of all such worries. However, the growth rate of each baby is slightly different, and a child's growth delay of one or two months does not affect cognitive ability. If their developmental period is delayed by 2~3 months or more, a professional examination is necessary. But if it is about a month, please wait with a relaxed mind. No doubt your child will start growing at their own pace.
Tip: When is the child's motor development period?
▶ Tilting neck: around 3 months of age.
▶ Turning over: 4-5 months of age.
▶ Sitting: 6-7 months of age.
▶ Back rolling and crawling: 7-8 months of age.
▶ Walking: 12-15 months of age.
If your child’s development is delayed by 2 to 3 months or more, consultation with a specialist may be necessary.
2. Remember that parents are not gods, and share this sentiment as a couple.
Here’s a scenario. While one caregiver was washing their baby, they accidentally immersed it in a little cold water. The child cries, and the other caregiver who was watching it is irritated. They say something like, “That’s our child: why can’t you bathe them properly?” Hearing this, the first caregiver becomes angry, which then leads to a marital quarrel.
Remember, parents are not gods. We are now beginners who have started a whole new stage of life called 'parenting'. Not everyone can do it proficiently at the beginner level. Of course, we must always be kind to our children, but if a couple makes small mistakes, all they need to do is provide comfort to their child and one another.
These tensions do not arise on purpose. It is important to recognise that couples can be sensitive to each other, and at the same time, respect each other as human beings, rather than treating one another as needing to be infallible. It sounds obvious, but if a couple expresses their emotions and ‘human side’ once or twice a week, even when they are angry, it will make it easier to resolve an argument and work through problems together.
3. Find alternative service items that can save energy.
Breastfeeding well, doing housework perfectly, and preparing for work and training for sleep would be perfect... Unfortunately, we are human, so we often lack energy. Find out how you can replace this lack of energy.
Try using a side dish shop, a part-time cleaning service, and a childcare helper. If you want to know the areas supported by the state, you can inquire at a public health center or general childcare support center. You don't have to be perfect at everything!
4. Don't forget the big picture.
No matter how you proceed with sleep training, there is a big truth we all recognise. In sleep training, it helps to remember general guidelines, including your child going to bed before 9 PM, playing during the day, eating during the day, and sleeping at night. However, if you focus too much on the bits and pieces of parenting methodology, it's easy to miss the big picture.
Please refresh your mind often and zoom out to consider a wider perspective. Is this a fun way to play right now? Does your child feel like they’re getting enough love and attention from mom and dad today? It's good to ask these fundamental questions from time to time.
Author: Lee Ji-hyun
- A Secondary School Level 2 Teacher Certificate
- As a real mother of a child, she ponders specific parenting tips between reality and theory. She has worked as an educational civic activist and freelance journalist.